hipster-trichster:

2makeyewsmile:

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.  Officer: Don’t have one? Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving. Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Woman: I can’t do that. Officer: Why not? Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Woman: Murdered the owner? Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am? Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The first officer is stunned. Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

that was a wild ride
Zoom Info
Camera
Canon EOS 5D Mark II
ISO
100
Aperture
f/8
Exposure
1/160th
Focal Length
60mm

hipster-trichster:

2makeyewsmile:

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle
please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

that was a wild ride

theroguefeminist:

cringing:

birdvswindowpane:

unfriendlyjewishhottie:

themaskednegro:

fuckedupgal:

themodifiedlife:

ndnickerson:

because it helps to remember this every now and then.

Also did anybody else notice that they removed the “Elton John’s AIDS foundation” logo from Miley’s picture? Fuckin’ agendas everywhere….

I literally threw a mini fit

The fact that they even touched up the woman in the BACKGROUND of the Selena Gomez pic is crazy.

I’ve said this every time it comes on my dash but please also notice that a lot of the women get photoshopped lighter.

And that´s the reason why nobody should try to be that thin, because that thin doesn´t exist in reality.

THIS IS SO SATISFYING TO LOOK AT I LITERALLY STARED AT THIS FOR LIKE 12 MINUTEs

there’s so much racism here with how they change rihanna’s nose

(Source: bright-happy-healthy)

satan-masterofsass:

myfrankensteinromance:

corpsin123:

gallifrey-feels:

twinkletwinkleyoulittlefuck:

tinkerbeth-in-neverland:

sparklesstripeyjumpers:

broadcasting-in-living-color:

Dynamo, an English magician, went around London over the weekend, “levitating” next to this bus. He hasn’t revealed how he accomplished this trick.

dude dont forget this guy walked on water

he casually strolled down the side of a building, LEVITATED IN FRONT OF CHRIST THE REDEEMER IN RIO and predicted football scores resulting in a large win on a bet WHICH HE THEN GAVE TO THE TEENAGE CANCER TRUST. Dynamo is amazing.

he’s finally getting notes!!!!
I love this man so much

fucking dynamo fucking sold his fucking soul to fucking Crowley
Fucking explain to me how else he could fucking melt glass with his bare fucking hands

JESUS

This is that superhero nobody believes is real under the guise of being a magician, oh my god he’s a deity.

this is the shit drop out students from Hogwarts do
Zoom Info

satan-masterofsass:

myfrankensteinromance:

corpsin123:

gallifrey-feels:

twinkletwinkleyoulittlefuck:

tinkerbeth-in-neverland:

sparklesstripeyjumpers:

broadcasting-in-living-color:

Dynamo, an English magician, went around London over the weekend, “levitating” next to this bus. He hasn’t revealed how he accomplished this trick.

dude dont forget this guy walked on water

he casually strolled down the side of a building, LEVITATED IN FRONT OF CHRIST THE REDEEMER IN RIO and predicted football scores resulting in a large win on a bet WHICH HE THEN GAVE TO THE TEENAGE CANCER TRUST. Dynamo is amazing.

he’s finally getting notes!!!!

I love this man so much

fucking dynamo fucking sold his fucking soul to fucking Crowley

Fucking explain to me how else he could fucking melt glass with his bare fucking hands

JESUS

This is that superhero nobody believes is real under the guise of being a magician, oh my god he’s a deity.

this is the shit drop out students from Hogwarts do

(Source: thetricksterdickster)

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